RULES, by the Observation of which, a Man of Wit and Learning may nevertheless make himself a disagreeable Companion.

Your Business is to shine; therefore you must by all means prevent the shining of others, for their Brightness may make yours the less distinguish'd. To this End,

1. If possible engross the whole Discourse; and when other Matter fails, talk much of your-self, your Education, your Knowledge, your Circumstances, your Successes in Business, your Victories in Disputes, your own wise Sayings and Observations on particular Occasions, &c. &c. &c.;

2. If when you are out of Breath, one of the Company should seize the Opportunity of saying something; watch his Words, and, if possible, find somewhat either in his Sentiment or Expression, immediately to contradict and raise a Dispute upon. Rather than fail, criticise even his Grammar.

3. If another should be saying an indisputably good Thing; either give no Attention to it; or interrupt him; or draw away the Attention of others; or, if you can guess what he would be at, be quick and say it before him; or, if he gets it said, and you perceive the Company pleas'd with it, own it to be a good Thing, and withal remark that it had been said by Bacon, Locke, Bayle, or some other eminent Writer; thus you deprive him of the Reputation he might have gain'd by it, and gain some yourself, as you hereby show your great Reading and Memory.

4. When modest Men have been thus treated by you a few times, they will chuse ever after to be silent in your Company; then you may shine on without Fear of a Rival; rallying them at the same time for their Dullness, which will be to you a new Fund of Wit.

Thus you will be sure to please yourself. The polite Man aims at pleasing others, but you shall go beyond him even in that. A Man can be present only in one Company, but may at the same time be absent in twenty. He can please only where he is, you where-ever you are not.

Benjamin Franklin, The Pennsylvania Gazette, November 15, 1750

22 comments:

  1. From artblahg comments, file in:

    Irony -> How best to invalidate your own argument in one short, compact paragraph
    Miscellaneous -> Random -> WTF

    “Everyone – for some reason we REALLY can't understand, REALLY – feels like they have to being our career into the argument. Get over it. You don't attack other writers or blahggers on dat and it's a good thing for them. Libby and Roberta ARTSIS??????Pllllllllleezzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!”

    People wouldn’t bother if you yourself didn’t make the practice a rhetorical staple, artblahg. You brought it up first.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey artblahg, taking the time to stuff a poll with bogus results just reveals your pettiness :) I don’t know if you were trying to demonstrate something else. That you have lots of free time? We already knew that.

    ReplyDelete
  3. u r now and never have bean nuttin witout us honz. we proved your poll is a joke and a fraud like yous. can't wipe your assez witout getting all shitty. go away you are a wasted intertoob load.

    Anon - like all you tough talkin brainless pussies

    ReplyDelete
  4. are you serious?

    Its clear that site was made in response to you. Does that not make since to you? W

    I think you proved that you voted a lot this morning, that's all. I doubt anyone else took the time, or has the time to do that.


    watch your mouth.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dear Wittle theartbblahghole.

    Did u ever notice we only use nasty talk here, thatz cause it's not us. or it's because when in Rome shit as the Romaniacs.

    We tipped your poll in minutes and if we thought it was worth it could have got 40 more in minutes. Datz the different between proz and hoes like yous who THINK they got it all happening. The day you show respect u will start to get good for the first time. Proz are super fast, hoes can't meet the quality even if given years, if ever. Same wit your so-called art, har.

    Do the right thing and take this embarrassing webhole down. That would be step 1 in your 12 step program to moral recovery. Talk to your art mumz for the other 11, hee. Your video post, duh, is that what u call content??????? Jackin' someone else's work????????

    Anon - like all you loserz. grow a brain

    ReplyDelete
  6. "We tipped your poll in minutes and if we thought it was worth it could have got 40 more in minutes.”

    So? The point is you give enough of a shit about that poll to bitch about it a dozen times, complain that it doesn’t work, and then spoof it. No one else gives a shit, but you do, way out of proportion. That’s just fucking funny. Because you give a shit about the wrong things, buddy. If you didn’t have an ego the size of a small planetoid, shit like a little poll would just roll off your back.

    We should respect you because…why? Because you’re an even bigger asshole here than you are on your own blahg (a feat I didn’t even think possible)?

    No, sorry. No can do.

    “Did u ever notice we only use nasty talk here, thatz cause it's not us. or it's because when in Rome shit as the Romaniacs. “

    I think it’s more like you unwinding and being yourself. Relax, go ahead, let loose. Just us chickens in here.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sport. Simple, sí?

    ReplyDelete
  8. It is, yeah. That’s pretty much how you view all your postings, isn’t it? Sport. That is when you’re not so pissed off the spittle bleeds into your typos.

    BTW: You shouldn’t use your hit counter as a loyalty meter. I shouldn’t have to explain to you why that’s misguided, but knowing you you’re completely clueless about it.

    ReplyDelete
  9. You know,
    I would have thought that this blog and the sheer number of comments on it might have been a bucket of cold water- giving you pause about your behavior and how many people really loathe it. After what seems like a long period of time and observation, I have to think that although your behavior is despicable, Vincent, it's not just your behavior- it's YOU that I have come to despise. You no longer have the right to any excuse or claim of ignorance. If I saw that so many people hated me, I would be forced to be humbled and do some serious self-reflection. But not you. You come back more obnoxious and threatening than ever. And Anon 7:52 is right- the spittle of your anger sprays me whenever I read what you've written, which is why I don't even go to your page anymore.

    You are no longer just some quirky asshole, you are a true detriment to the Philadelphia Arts Community. I hope you can get some help and fast! I think that otherwise, the community should figure out a way to seriously shut you out of participating locally as an artist.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Three thoughts on next steps here:

    1. Don’t go to artblagh at all if you can help it. It’s clear he conflates traffic with actual support of his methodologies, so deprive him of the traffic.

    2. If you MUST visit (I know, it’s hard not to stare), anonymize first.

    Use:

    http://www.all-nettools.com/toolbox/anonymous-surfing.php

    hidemyass.com

    or any of a number of other tools out there. Artblahg fishes his hit counters and tries to correlate to determine people’s identities. It’s another reason not to post comments on his blog, by the way. Anon isn’t really anon on his blog unless you’re doing some work beforehand.

    3. If anyone has links on their blogs to artblahg, or follows him on twitter, FB etc or in anyway has URLs pointing to artblahg, and DOESN’T support what it stands for, you should remove them, and point to this blog instead.

    Links are a major factor in Google page rank (what shows up first in searches is controlled by page rank). If you’re linking even for ironic reasons, you’re inadvertently helping him by providing inwardbound links - Google uses these to determine importance. It’s yet another reason why for awhile we were seeing artblahg commenting EVERYWHERE outside his blog, with URLs pointing back.

    Of course, if you like artblahg, feel free to keep the links :) But if you don’t, stop enabling him.

    Page ranks as of today:
    artblog.org 6/10
    artblahg 3/10
    theartblahg 1/10

    3 is not a bad number in the grand scheme of things.

    ReplyDelete
  11. all of therealartblahgs hitz are from phila. you forgot to mention that. yeOLDEartglaz have less than half from Phila. so you do the math for a true ranking of local interest.

    we find it funny u are begging people to avoid us by using the same tool we have pointed out as the weapon of choice of the INSIDERZ. IGNORE. u are creeps and one of dem establishment foolz. it wouldn't work this time, it's already too late. if therealartblahg wanted more hots that would be easy, we know all the tricks, more than you by the looks of your stupid comment info. therealartblahg has done some good post on that subject.

    you are desperate because if therealartblahg doesn't cum here there is no reason to visit. now therealartblahg has some funny shit goin' on and you know it. look into my eyez, you will not be able to stop going there, it is too entertaining and goot.

    this blogmess has no links except for a few sissies with no sense-o-humor. therealartblahg has a post in the wings giving a partial list of those who love it! we know because we support them too. did you really think it was just one person? duh.

    Anon like yous

    ReplyDelete
  12. therealartblahg got it up and it's stronger, longer and harder than yours!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the piece on supporters that is. you can link to us too if you want to be on the winners side. we thought all you wannabees got dat.

    ANon like your art mumz

    ReplyDelete
  13. "all of therealartblahgs hitz are from phila. you forgot to mention that. yeOLDEartglaz have less than half from Phila. so you do the math for a true ranking of local interest.”

    Another way to read that is that you’re so provincial nobody outside of Phila even bothers, no matter how many times you mention the brucennial or other, better art bloggers. “Artblahg what?” is the usual response. Your attempt to self-validate by desperately comparing your flailing efforts to much better qualified individuals in the blogosphere and the real world is just funny.

    Anyway, I’m not arguing rankings one way or another. They’re numbers. Interpret however you like.

    Here are some more; the alexa traffic ranking:

    BIG GUNS
    artnet.com 10,281

    LOCAL PRINT
    citypaper.net 85,404

    BLOGS
    theartblog.org: 402,530
    hyperallergic.com 623,043
    edwardwinkleman.blogspot.com 1,059,065
    joannemattera.blogspot.com 1,244,059
    artscultureandcreativeeconomy.blogspot.com 2,919,642
    artblahg: 3,531,991
    newasshole.com 7,139,271
    matthewstheyounger.blogspot.com 8,956,303
    artinbars.com 9,614,088
    theartblahg.blogspot.com: 13,511,332
    romanblog2.blogspot.com “no data”

    Now, this tells me a few things:

    1. artblahg is definitely getting read. Quibble about the whys if you want.

    2. theartblog is, BY FAR, getting read more. Compare to ed winkleman, who is VERY widely read nationally.

    3. THEartblahg is getting read enough to register on alexa, but barely that.

    "we find it funny u are begging people to avoid us by using the same tool we have pointed out as the weapon of choice of the INSIDERZ. IGNORE.”

    It happens to be the tool I use to avoid crazy nutjobs. Slowly back away, and ignore. Any resemblance to your paranoiac fantasies is purely coincidental.

    "look into my eyez, you will not be able to stop going there, it is too entertaining and goot.”

    You’re mistaken in the source of your “charms”. But we’ve known that for awhile, and convincing you otherwise is like talking to a brick wall. I’m not coming back to your blog, even to find source material to laugh at. It just enables your fantasy life.

    "therealartblahg has a post in the wings giving a partial list of those who love it! we know because we support them too. did you really think it was just one person? duh.”

    Yeah, I do.

    UPDATE:
    Okay, you made me look. Saw your “supporters”. If that’s your list of people who LOVE you, then why aren’t they commenting on your blog? Where’s the LOVE? I’ve seen most of those links, and the mentions of artblahg are non-commital at best.

    Oh, and philly foodie? Lists THIS blahg in its blogroll, NOT yours. FAIL :P

    ReplyDelete
  14. Still don’t get it. 2/3rds of these are “look, some crazy dude posting, meh.”, or actually negative. The other 1/3rd are a blogroll listing at best.

    This the best you can do?

    ReplyDelete
  15. and you would have zero anything without therealartblhag, what does that say hanger ons??? you need therealartblh not the other way around. you can be negative about supporters, but where are your shows? where is your art, illustrations, story ideas, unique voice? amateurs like Robin and Libyy and Robert and Edith and the rest of your artmumz. whataf'njokeoffofone party. keep spankin' it if you want it's your embarrassing life.

    Anon like you ballless nuttinz

    ReplyDelete
  16. @anon 1:13 & 1:44

    could you share the pertinent info/list/names with us? I don't want to go and give him a hit of any kind.

    thanks

    ReplyDelete
  17. "and you would have zero anything without therealartblhag, what does that say hanger ons??? you need therealartblh not the other way around”

    Yeah, sure. If you weren’t around there wouldn’t be a reason for this site; on that, at least, we can agree. And yet there you are, slinging your libelous shit, so here we are.

    We don’t need shows, art, illustrations, or story ideas - though the admin does a good job of posting much funnier stuff than you. We need only take apart the bullshit you that you constantly try to shape into something real.

    We’re a one trick pony and proud of it.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Sure.

    It’s basically just a raw scrape of every mention of artblahg anywhere, minus some of the VR references in citypaper - and, it goes without saying - anything here. Though arguably, if these below merit listing, then by definition we’re his biggest fan.

    From artblahg(at)blagspot(dot)com

    "They Luvvvvvvvvv Us!!!!!!!!! Well…


    Hrag VartanianFebruary 2, 2010 at 1:40 pm
    Btw, we’ve already been spoofed elsewhere, and I’ve personally been spoofed on The ArtBlahg & loved it…comedy is the best part of life!

    U know, we take lotz-o-shit round here and we laugh it all off, heeeeeeee, heeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Butt many people locally can't take a joke. They don't think we are kidding em, and they don't git it that we are a fantasy, like a bad dream for the establishment!!!!! Yippee!!!!!!!!!!!!

    To show you some of the folks that are wit us in some way, either by posting a link to us, or mentioning us in their comments, or putting us in shows etc, etc. they show they have a sense of humor. And we think they got it right. Have a little fun looking at yourself and maybe even u, just like us can move that bar up a little, at least. If any of yous want to be taken off this list let us know.

    If you have the ballz to add a link to us, go'chead now hon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    In case you don't know this internet trick u might want to employ it in your serach for us on any particular page. Once a page is loaded, any page, go "command f" and type in the word artblahg in the wittle boxy thang, that is on a Mac. We think it might bee "control f" on your microworld computer, goot luck wit dat!

    Some sites have their own search toolz at dee top and you can try them to search their complete blog or database.

    A Partial List: we are leaving out the "outting attempts" and other negative crap, why plug those bendadick arnholez??????? There are more positive ones, but you'll get the idee, maybe?

    We were part of the project called #class at the Winkleman Gallery in NY. There was a ton of press for this and they all gave us a call-out yo. We are only listing a couple.
    http://www.hashtagclass.com/class/here-come-the-projects/

    http://www.phillyphoodie.com/

    http://dicktorchia.blogspot.com/
    har!!!!!!!!!!

    http://gierschickwork.blogspot.com/2010/02/clash-of-blahgs.html

    http://www.artnet.com/magazineus/features/jen/jen-at-the-brucennial3-11-10.asp
    We were in the Brucennial, again there was a lot of press and we were mentioned a few times.

    http://delahaba.com/

    http://artrawproject.com/index.php?

    http://philadelphiaartwake.blogspot.com/

    http://hyperallergic.com/3916/brucennial-1/

    http://hyperallergic.com/2519/wpre-1/

    http://pocketintellectual.blogspot.com/

    http://phlarts.blogspot.com/2010/04/city-paper-robin-rice-reviews.html

    http://jacquelinekmaloney.blogspot.com/

    http://www.marginalutility.org/machete-group/zines/2010/machete-zine-april-2010/

    http://newasshole.com/newrsshole/

    http://heatheraquelphillips.blogspot.com/

    http://www.philebrity.com/2009/11/06/never-mind-the-bollocks-heres-the-artblahg/

    http://artinbars.com/tag/artblahg/

    http://romanblog2.blogspot.com/

    http://phlarts.blogspot.com/2010/04/city-paper-robin-rice-reviews.html

    ––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

    and don't forget those 136 "followers" on our Twit-her list.

    and what about the brave folks who put stuff in our PLUG HOLE!!!!!!!!

    and last not but least our COMMENTERS/tormentors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    WE LUVVVVVVVVZZZZZZZZZZZ U ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

    ReplyDelete
  19. Oh, by the way, to get this info I used an internet trick, if you don’t know of it: command-c, or if you’re on a PC, control-c.

    I am a web 3.0 god.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I thought this post was so spot on and refreshing in the rhetorical devices (not to get too nerd/meta but there was some incidental humor in using a historical quote with nonstandard spelling.)

    Mostly I just wish we could all breathe a little. It's insanely frustrating that a genuine issue and the potential for real discussion has been completely poisoned by blind rage, pretty name calling, and knee-jerk reactions.

    When does real discourse and a movement towards solutions get to happen?

    ReplyDelete
  21. Dear Soharrahaha,

    You come to this stinky thing and ask about serious discourse. You are to be scoffed about your ears!!!!!!!!!!! But you need to clarify. Do you mean discourse on one of the shows at one of the establishment venues on this sidebar? Or do you mean the political problems that real artists face here? I wonder if you even know what I'm talking about. You all think beer parties is the end all.

    You and your frenz Beth and Anntoilette and Libby and even you all have forums, USE THEM. What the hell are you talking about. This bog is a joke and you ask questions here?

    I have been here a lot longer than you and many of these people here who are clearly newbies. Do you think you even know what is good or what the problems are? But you don't want to work with people who do and you can't even get a meeting together amongst your clueless selves. So again, what the hell do you mean. And this post is a joke too but maybe that's the level you need to start at.

    Do it yourself, isn't that what you all are told.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Sequoia said:
    "When does real discourse and a movement towards solutions get to happen?”

    Apparently, judging by the above response, not yet.

    I would suggest a different venue, in a real online forum format - not a blog - would be a better place for real discussion. Blogs are built to elicit a call/response comment pattern that just leads to trolling all around.

    Somebody build it, and I’ll be there. I’ll leave the snark here.

    ReplyDelete

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